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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29614254">I Don't Get Paid Enough to Care About This Planet (Zim x Reader)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chichu2/pseuds/Chichu2'>Chichu2</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Invader Zim</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Corruption Arc, Dark Comedy, F/M, Fluff, Holding back, Horror, Modern Era, Original Character Death(s), Romance, Satire, Science Fiction, Short Zim (Invader Zim), Slow Burn, Takes place after events of show &amp; movie, immoral reader, trigger warning</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 05:41:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,533</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29614254</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chichu2/pseuds/Chichu2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After being informed that posing as an elementary skooler to learn about humans isn't going to get him anywhere, Zim decides to try to get a job at the only place that will take him. The local run-down mattress store. There he meets a pained human who, after finding out his secret, wants to help him destroy the earth (while sparing herself of course).</p><p>Though this is rated Mature, the vast majority is Teen and Up. To make this story more accessible, I will add a warning to any chapters that contain more adult content so you can skip them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Zim/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>98</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Interviewing the Weird New Guy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Yyyy/nnnn!!" Your coworker calls out.</p><p>"Whaat." You groan.</p><p>"There's someone at the door, he looks lost. Do your job."</p><p>You glance at the front door. The customer is a very short man with black hair and what looks like some body modifications. Green skin, no ears or mouth. Almost like he's trying to look like an alien (Despite what he's going for, he looks more like a turtle or a Kappa). Yikes, this guy is definitely gonna end up on Dr. Phil... </p><p>You slowly make your way to the front door, and greet the customer unenthusiastically.</p><p>"Welcome to The Reaper's Mattress. Where you'll be so comfy, you'll never wake up." You go through your lines.</p><p>"I'm here for an interview." He states. You look to your coworker for help.</p><p>"The boss is on vacation so he's put you in charge of interviewing the new guy." She informs you.</p><p>"Again? Jeez... Is this the only candidate we have?" You whisper. Your coworker nods and hands you the turtle man's resume. You begrudgingly lead him to the back office.</p><p>"So, your name is Zim?"</p><p>"Yes, I am the ALMIGHTY- Uh, ahem, yes."</p><p>"Er- great. My name is (Y/n)." You force a smile and reach out to shake his hand, "Well, Zim."  You glance at his resume, it's completed only to the bare minimum. "It says here that you're 23, but... the only educational history you have is elementary school... Is this form filled out right?" You hold it up and tap at it, bewildered as all hell. He becomes noticably nervous.</p><p>"Oh! Well, see, I had a hard time completing school is all."</p><p>"...You couldn't graduate elementary school after 13 years?" You stare.</p><p>"I have... various mental illnesses! Yes, I am very, very dysfunctional." He nods his head with a sad face.</p><p>Oh crap, you kinda feel bad for the dude. That explains a lot of his... crazy body modifications. Well, your not gonna discriminate against someone with a disability.</p><p>"These, um, mental illnesses, would they impair you from doing your job without reasonable accommodation?"</p><p>"I need no accommodations whatsoever. I'll do completely fine like a normal human earth-monkey."</p><p>"But... You know what, never mind." You'll just keep an eye on the poor guy. The store is severely understaffed, anyway. "You're hired! When can you start?" What's the worst that could happen?</p><p>"Immediately! I am the AMAZING AND CAPABLE ZIM!"</p><p>"Uh... alright, let's get you started."</p><p>You lead him out and into the main section of the building.</p><p>"I'll be doing your training, cause it looks like Val is busy..." You notice your coworker is dealing with an unsatisfied family and their bratty kid, you feel grateful that it isn't you. "You'll be starting out as a sales assistant-"</p><p>"ZIM?! AN ASSISTANT?"</p><p>Oh fuck, people are staring...!</p><p>"It won't be for too long..." A lie, it took you years to get out of that position. "You've just gotta help us convince people to buy these awful things." You whisper and pat at a mattress labelled "Rock Solid: natural sleep!"</p><p>"And then I'll get promoted?"</p><p>"Uh, possibly..."</p><p>The turtle man- Zim, narrows his eyes mischievously.</p><p>"I can sell those mattresses... I'll sell ALL THE MATTRESSES! Mwahahahaha!" His laughing goes on for a good 5 minutes.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Dark Humor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Okay you slabs of concrete, prepare to be sold!" He screams.</p><p>"Hey... Maybe keep it down a bit."</p><p>"Oh, sorry." He calms down immediately.</p><p>Zim approaches the angry family and coaxes them to the well-hidden back corner while looking around to make sure no one is following him. You wait a few moments till he can't see you and then follow curiously. You see him grab something out from the bag on his back, 3 devices that look like VR headsets. He then shoves them onto the heads of the family members.</p><p>"This is what's going to happen if you don't buy these super comfy beds. Do you really want to have endless nightmares? Hmm?" He threatens.</p><p>"Oh god no! We'll buy them, we'll buy them!" The family shrieks. Despite not having the slightest clue what's going on, you chuckle at this. It's dark, but funny. Zim suddenly becomes aware of your gaze. He turns back and the two of you lock eyes.</p><p>"You!" He's panicking. "I'm normal. That was normal... How much did you see!?" The family rushes to the cash register with their Rock-Solid™ brand beds and out the door.</p><p>"Um..." Shit shit shit shit "Nothing...?"</p><p>"Yo guys! Break is starting! So leave me alone for the next 5 minutes." Val yells across the room with her raspy voice.</p><p>"Oh no. I know you saw something. You're coming with me."</p><p>"Eep!" He yanks you out the back door. Despite his small stature, he has incredible strength. "Wait, wait! Let me go. I won't tell anyone."</p><p>"You're lying." He glares.</p><p>"No! I promise. I don't care. There are scummier business practices. Whatever that was, it was actually kinda funny..." You trail off, a tad embarrassed at your messed up sense of humor. "...Anyway. I just wanna know. Who are you? How do you have that kind of technology?" You stare at him with wonder in your eyes.</p><p>"...You really don't care?" He looks confused, then his expression snaps back to normal. "Whatever! I will not answer such foolish questions, disgusting human!"</p><p>"Wow, you really are crazy... You're lucky we need you here." That came out meaner than you meant it to.</p><p>"Yes, I AM insane! Nothing more, just crazy."</p><p>"Oi! Come back inside, you lazy asshats. Break is over and I need you!" Val yells.</p><p>"Well, back to my job! Like normal earthlings do!" He marches inside.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Is He Not Human?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[Zim's base, 7:00pm]</p><p>"ZIM!!!" Dib is ramming his fists on the door. "Tell me what you're plotting! Show yourself, you coward!" He's hacked into the gnomes to keep them still, but how long can his code hold them for?</p><p>"Coward, eh?" Zim flings open the door, wearing a smug expression. "Is this about my absence from Skool? Do you miss me, Dib?" He mocks him.</p><p>"What are you planning? I know you're doing something sketchy if you've been hiding here this long..."</p><p>"It's only been a day."</p><p>"You know what I mean!"</p><p>"Ahahaha... Oh, Dib. My <em>old</em> nemesis. I have no use for Skool anymore. <em>I</em> have a new, GENIUS PLAN! A new way to study the humans without your constant annoyance. But... I'm not gonna tell you what it is." He grins, slamming the door on Dib's face.</p><p>"ZIIIM!!!" Dib struggles as Zim's robotic gnomes break free and drag him onto the sidewalk.</p><p>///////////////////////////////////////////</p><p>[The next morning at The Reaper's Mattress]</p><p>Val is reaching retirement age (early retirement age with her lung problems), so she's reduced her shifts over the years to only work Mondays. The rest of the weekday shifts are filled in by some maniac who's obsessed with the paranormal. You, being desperate for money, work as much as you can. Today is a Tuesday. So yes, that means you have to work with the crazy guy.</p><p>The mentioned coworker strolls in, but doesn't remain calm for long.</p><p>"W-what is that?!" Tep's hand is pointed at the new employee, jaw dropped in horror. You push his hand down.</p><p>"Don't point, this is Zim. He's the new sales assistant."</p><p>Tep pulls you aside. "ZIM?! That's an alien! Agen- erm, an associate of mine told me all about him. If you value your life, (Y/n), stay away from that monster!"</p><p>"Just letting you know, I can hear you. I am NOT an alien, second-Dib." Zim scowls.</p><p>"Wait- isn't that what you're trying to go for with all... that?" You motion to his green face. He freezes.</p><p>"That is a skin condition! If I wanted to be an alien, which I don't and am NOT, then where's my antennae, hmm?"</p><p>"Under your wig." Tep reaches. </p><p>"NO!! Don't touch me you <em>filth</em>!" He darts across the room like a rabid animal. Tep follows in pursuit.</p><p> You laugh, then stop as a few customers enter. You realize you'll have to deal with them alone now. "You guys are really just gonna leave me here!?"</p><p>///////////////////////////////////////////</p><p>[The Reaper's Mattress, 5:00pm]</p><p>Today was more productive than usual. Despite Tep's and Zim's antics, Zim's weird device was actually bringing in more sales. Maybe you'll finally start being paid minimum wage! Hiring him was surprisingly a good idea...</p><p>You're about to leave the building when you notice the sky outside is dark and cloudy. Oh right! Your weather app this morning told you it would rain after work today. It's been way too long since the last rainstorm. You pull out your umbrella and step outside to find Zim hiding under the canopy.</p><p>"You going home?" You ask.</p><p>"I'm, uh, waiting for the rain to end. Just ignore me, earth-monkey."</p><p>"Hmm..." He doesn't seem to have an umbrella, and it looks like the storm isn't gonna end any time soon. You raise your umbrella above his head. "Come on, I can walk you home if you live nearby, or to a bus stop."</p><p>"..." He looks up at the umbrella. "...Thanks."</p><p>The two of you walk together in silence. You feel kind of embarrassed being this close...</p><p>As you two turn another corner, a car drives past the two of you, splashing Zim with a bit of water.</p><p>"AAAAGH! IT BURNS!" He screams. </p><p>"The- the water burns?!" You don't know what to do.</p><p>"It's normal! I swear! I just have- eurg... an allergy!" He continues to writh in pain.</p><p>"Um... Okay! Where's your house?! We need to hurry!"</p><p>"I'll be fine... This happens a lot..." He looks like he's in agony.</p><p>"Your skin is boiling though-"</p><p>"It's nothing! Oh would you look at that I see my house right over there, I'll just go, bye!" He steals your umbrella and staggers away to a strange looking home.</p><p>As mad as you are about him leaving you out in the rain, your thoughts are occupied with thinking about the boiling skin... Is he really not human? </p><p>///////////////////////////////////////////</p><p>[Moments later in Zim's base]</p><p>Zim is gazing at the stolen umbrella, thinking out loud.</p><p>"That earth-monkey is oddly nice to me... I can use this, but how...?"</p><p>"We can all have banana sandwiches!" Gir yells.</p><p>"Be quiet, Gir!" He snaps, and continues to talk to himself.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. I Get To Destroy The Earth!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Your boss, Mr. Bell, is currently laughing on speaker-phone to you, Tep, and Zim. Apparently whatever he needs to talk about was important enough for him to call in from his vacation to Vegas, which is rare.</p><p>"We've made so much MONEY!" He howls with joy. "I don't know how you've done it, Zim, but you're singlehandedly saving this company! You're all getting raises!"</p><p>"Can we be paid minimum wage now?" You ask.</p><p>"Ahaha! You're so funny, (Y/n)! Then how would I get rich? Ah, but Zim" He turns his focus, "How would you like to be promoted to a real Mattress Salesman?"</p><p>"YES!!! VICTORY FOR ZIM!" He yells.</p><p>"Ehehe... You're a real strange one... huh?" Mr. Bell sounds uncomfortable. "Anyway, I have to get back to my Poker game. You guys keep at it!" He hangs up. </p><p>He got promoted... in 3 days!? Excuse me!?</p><p>While you're seething with anger, Zim is holding his head high.</p><p>"Soon you'll all be answering to ME!" He grins.</p><p>"Yeah, great." You're too pissed at your Boss to pay attention to the little green man.</p><p>"Of course it's great. You pathetic earth creatures should feel honored to have Zim as a future Boss. And then I'll make my way even further up the ladder! Nyehehehe!"</p><p>"Oh no you won't!" Tep interjects, "I'll bet Dib doesn't know you work here yet, huh? I'll tell him and we'll team up against you!"</p><p>"Wait, what are we talking about?" Your head has only just cleared.</p><p>"Zim is an alien trying to destroy the world, (Y/n)! Please believe me! We need to stop him!"</p><p>"NO I'M-"</p><p>"YOU ARE?!" You interrupt, overjoyed. "I already figured out you were an alien, but this... This is amazing!"</p><p>"What...?" Tep looks disgusted with you, Zim is in disbelief.</p><p>"YOU LIE!"</p><p>"No! Please, let me help you. And in return, I want you to take me away from this godawful planet."</p><p>"(Y/n)!" Tep is furious. "How could you?! You're just gonna let us die because of some selfish hatred of the earth?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>Tep is baffled.</p><p>"Zim, no enslaving me, and no letting me die in the void of space. I just want to go back to wherever you came from and join you in whatever what you're doing is called. Do we have a deal?"</p><p>"You'd help me that easily?" Zim is confused. "I guess I could use a more competent minion than Gir... I'VE MADE MY DECISION! I'll spare you for your service, human. But you aren't nearly WORTHY ENOUGH to become an Invader."</p><p>"I'll just have to prove myself then, won't I?" You grin.</p><p>"NEVER!"</p><p>"Hehe- wait, shouldn't we be dealing with customers?" You look around, nobody's come in so far. Oh.</p><p>"You're a traitor to earth!" Tep looks like he's gonna cry. "I thought we were friends... Dib and I are gonna stop you both!"</p><p>"Tep, you realize this is the longest conversation we've ever had, right?"</p><p>"Ahahahah! That's two against two, disgusting Tep. One side with THE UNSTOPPABLE ZIM and one puny human, and the other side made up of TWO PUNY HUMANS! " Zim cackles.</p><p>The little bell on the front door chimes, a singular customer walks through the door, but quickly spins around when she hears Zim and Tep yelling at each other.</p><p>No! That might've been our only chance to make a sale today...</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. A Morally Questionable Initiation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The horizon bleeds orange and red as the sun begins to rise. You can't help but stop and stare in awe,  even though you're supposed to be unlocking the store. That's one of the few things you'll miss about the earth. Sunrises and sunsets. The animals were pretty cool too. Just- not the people...</p><p>As you pull the doors to a close, you hear a rustle behind you. You turn around and notice a dark figure moving towards you from behind the mattresses. Their feet tap lightly on the white tile floor.</p><p>"W-who's there!?" You yank the store key from your pocket and hold it like a knife, as if it'll even do something against your foe.</p><p>"I've been waiting for you..." The stranger has a a familiar voice...</p><p>Zim. </p><p>You put your hand to your chest and sigh.</p><p>"Jesus, Zim. You scared me! How did you even get in?"</p><p>"The human will not be here today, and neither will you. We're going to do a little test." Zim steps forward and pulls a strange device out of his backpack.</p><p>"Wait- what's that...?" You ask, slowly backing away.</p><p>"A sleeping gun." He answers straightforwardly. You try to escape but Zim pins you to the wall and aims the device at your forehead. Some wave-thing makes it's way through your brain. You're nauseous for a moment but fall unconscious the next second.</p><p>///////////////////////////////////////////</p><p>You're eyes flutter open. You're in a strange room strapped to an uncomfortable chair with a massive screen in front of your face. Zim is at a desk working on some sort of futuristic helmet. Next to him is a small blue and grey robot. Zim's usual black hair and normal eyes are replaced by two antennae and magenta eyes.</p><p>"Oh, she's awake." He spins his chair and clears his throat. "Don't be afraid, slave-human. This is merely the first step in order for you to work for the ALMIGHTY ZIM! Using this mind-reading device, I will learn whether or not you intend to sabotage my plan. If you do intend to, you won't be left alive. Prepare yourself!" He slams it onto your head and suddenly a collage of your thoughts appear on screen.</p><p>"What the fuck is going on, how did I get here!?"</p><p>"Hehe... He still looks like a turtle."</p><p>"Who is that robot?"</p><p>And so on.</p><p>"I'm GIR! You're pretty." GIR responds, making you smile.</p><p>"Aww! Thank you!" The screen continues to read your thoughts.</p><p>"I do NOT look like a <em>turtle</em>. COMPUTER! Go back to the memory of (Y/n) discovering my secret."</p><p>You feel something attempting to force your brain to pull up the rain memory. You comply, realizing it's easier to go along with the machine.</p><p>Zim is seen on screen running away to his base with your stolen umbrella.</p><p>"May I have that back?" You speak, glaring at him.</p><p>"BE QUIET! ...GIR, go get it."</p><p>"YES SIR!" GIR's eyes go red as he salutes him.</p><p>"...Is he really not human...?" The memory continues. "Wow... So then, he's not crazy after all, he's just an alien! That's cool, but why live on this awful planet?"</p><p>"Nothing but admiration and curiosity. Oh... Oh no..." He steps back, holding his arm up to protect himself. "You aren't one of those DISGUSTING alien worshippers are you!?"</p><p>Well, that was unexpected. </p><p>"Ahaha! Don't worry. I don't worship anything, I just think you're kinda neat."  You reply. "Well... kidnapping me isn't neat. I would have come here willingly, you know. I did agree to help you and all that-"</p><p>"Enough talking. COMPUTER! Play the memory of when she discovered my goal to destroy the earth."</p><p>"YOU ARE?!" Your past self yells out bluntly. </p><p>What goes through your head is, "I'M SAVED!"</p><p>Zim takes off the helmet, seeming pleased.</p><p>"You are a smart human. Not as smart as ZIM, of course, but seeing as how you've realized the true nature of this <em>FILTHY</em> DIRT BALL of a planet, you must be somewhat more intelligent than your peers. I commend you."</p><p>"Now what?"</p><p>"YOU will assist me in my next plan."</p><p>"Coo."</p><p>"What?" Zim looks at you like you're the alien here.</p><p>"I didn't say anything. You, uh- have something on your head though."</p><p>Zim pats his head and feels the pigeon sitting atop it. His eyes light up.</p><p>"Forget that old plan. <em>I</em> have a new one. COME MY HENCHMAN, WE MUST GATHER PIGEONS!"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Operation Pigeon Army</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"AHHH HE HAS <em>HEAD-PIGEONS</em>!!" A woman screams. The people in the park all turn their heads towards him in unison before scattering and bumping into eachother as if Zim has the plague.</p><p>You, Zim, and another of his companions called Minimoose, are here trying to gather pigeons. By now, the mound of them are 5x bigger than his head itself, making you glad you decided to put on a hat today (It's the only thing preventing you from catching his illness). Who knows how his skull hasn't cracked from the weight. Does he even have a skull? Whatever, anyway, GIR stayed behind, too distracted by <em>The Scary Monkey Show</em> to notice Zim yelling at him to leave. You're not sure what Zim's plan is with these pigeons, but this is definitely going to be interesting.</p><p>"Slave-human, hold up the cage for me. I need to duck my head in to trap the pigeons."</p><p>You don't like how he keeps calling you that. "Hmm... Nope! Only if you start calling me by my name. Remember the second rule? NO enslaving me." You cross your arms. "That means you can't <em>call</em> me a slave either."</p><p>"You dare disobey me!?"</p><p>"You call GIR and Minimoose by their names. I want some respect if I'm gonna be working for you."</p><p>"I could destroy you at any moment, earth-monkey. OBEY ME!" He hisses, shaking his arms.</p><p>"<em>Earth-monkey</em> is a step-up, I guess." You roll your eyes. You have the urge to use Minimoose to fly so you can just drop the cage on his head, but you don't wanna hurt the pigeons too much.</p><p>"Nyah!" Minimoose head-butts him, you grin.</p><p>"AAGH! Are you BOTH turning against ME?! He screams. "Fine. I'll call you <em>(Y/n)</em>." </p><p>"Thank you, that's all I ask." You calmly trap the pigeons and shut the cage.</p><p>"You annoy me." He glares, but then looks to the cage with satisfaction. "But we're done here, so let's get back to the lab so I can experiment."</p><p>///////////////////////////////////////////</p><p>Zim's laboratory is <em>incredible</em>. There's all kinds of technology that you can't even begin to wrap your head around. Did he make all this himself?</p><p>He takes a pigeon from the cage and straps it to a table. By now a few more have made their way through his vents onto his head, but he doesn't seem to care. He injects some sort of microchip into it's brain, and immediately, the pigeon stiffens robotically. Zim unstraps it.</p><p>"Roll over." He commands, and the bird does exactly what he says. "Fly." It flaps it's wings and circles the room. "Return to the table." The pigeon obeys once more, making Zim grin. "AHAHAHA! IT WORKS! Now to arm them with missiles..."</p><p>"You gonna make an army of pigeons or something?" You tilt your head.</p><p>"FOOL! My plan would never be that predictable! In fact, I've come up with something you would never guess."</p><p>"Oh yeah? What is it?"</p><p>"It... uh, doesn't matter what it is. It's going to work because <em>I'M A GENIUS</em>!"</p><p>"I didn't say it wasn't-"</p><p>"Listen carefully, I need you to implant these microchips into the brains of the remaining pigeons while I go back outside with GIR and Minimoose to get more. I'm the only one who can attract the pigeons, and you're the only one other than me competent enough to do this... I trust you won't try anything funny."</p><p>"I got this, don't worry." He trusts you!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Doing Things My Way</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[Yesterday evening in Dib's room, Dib's POV]</p><p>I've gotten a sudden call from one of the members of The Swollen Eyeball.</p><p>"Agent Mothman, I've found the alien guy you've been telling us about."</p><p>I push myself out of my chair, awestruck.</p><p>"You FOUND Zim!? Where is he!?"</p><p>"He's been hired at the place I work, and he- he has a new ally..." Tep wimpers.</p><p>"Uh, dude, are you alright...?" I ask, very uncomfortable.</p><p>"I'M FINE! Look. Let's meet up tomorrow at the park and plan a team up against them. You know Zim and all his weaknesses, and I..." Tep pauses, his face moving from realization to disappointment. "I've... worked with (Y/n) for years. So if we join forces, we can come up with something great."</p><p>"Agent Wendigo... Almost no-one has ever believed me, let alone wanted to help me. Thank you!"</p><p>"No problem." Tep says.</p><p>"TEP! DINNER'S READY!" An older woman can be heard in the background.</p><p>"UGH, MOM! I'M IN AN IMPORTANT CALL!" Tep screams.</p><p>"ARE THOSE YOUR CONSPIRACY FRIENDS AGAIN!? YOU SHOULD INVITE THEM OVER!"</p><p>"NO! Ugh, I've gotta go." Tep hangs up the call.</p><p>I sit for a moment, kinda weirded out. Soon the thought of beating Zim comes back, so I dart into the living room to find Gaz on the couch playing on her Game Slave 2.</p><p>"GAZ! I KNOW WHERE ZIM IS, HE GOT A JOB! I CAN GET BACK TO MY MISSION!" I frantically explain.</p><p>"Oh yeah. I told him to do that."</p><p>"You... <em>WHAT</em>!?"</p><p>Gaz looks irritated, but decides to humor Dib a bit longer.</p><p>"Look, Dib. You've been so obsessed with Zim and it gets increasingly more annoying to be around. Since you won't leave him alone, I thought I would try getting him away from you. And I finally got some peace for a while. Besides, what is he going to do? He's an idiot." </p><p>"You don't understand, Gaz. He has a new ally. He could be a bigger threat than he ever was!"</p><p>"Whatever, leave me alone." She puts the screen in her face to block out Dib.</p><p>"Ugh..." I leave in defeat.</p><p>///////////////////////////////////////////</p><p>[Back to the present in Zim's base, your POV]</p><p>As soon as Zim left, your eyes locked themselves onto the familiar gun across the room. You don't feel comfortable injecting these microchips while the birds are awake, so you'll do what you can to make it better for them. </p><p>"Please forgive me for the nausea, little guy..." You whisper to the pigeon before doing what Zim did to you. You hold the device to the pigeons forehead and pull the trigger, releasing the strange waves into its brain that put you to sleep this morning. The pigeon falls unconscious, and you inject the microchip into it's brain.</p><p>You repeat this process for every individual pigeon until you've gotten through the entire cage, and then return the sleeping gun to it's original spot. The birds are lined up on the floor line a tiny army, ready for orders.</p><p>You tap your fingers on the table for a while, unsure of what to do next. Do you go back to work? Help out at the park? All this waiting is making your eyes heavy, 
and it's not long before you start to doze off.</p><p>Minutes after falling asleep, the big screen in the lab lights up, jolting you awake.</p><p>"Wha...?" You're half-conscious.</p><p>"(YYY/NNNN)! GET OVER HERE!" Zim is clinging to Minimoose 20 feet up in the air.</p><p>"What happened!?" You jump up, alert.</p><p>"It's Dib-monkey and the older, fatter Dib-monkey! They've found us and have BIRD REPELLENT!"</p><p>"What am I supposed to to about that, exactly...?"</p><p>"JUST- AAHHH!!" Zim falls to the floor, bringing the camera with him. "Eugh- NO! STAY BACK! DON'T SPRAY MEE!" The call cuts out when he disappears into a mist.</p><p>You <em>can't</em> let this plan fail! There's plenty of technology here. Even though it's all alien stuff, there is the one thing you kinda know how to use.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Saving Zim</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[Earlier at the park, Dib's POV]</p><p>I'm pacing the sidewalk by the park with anticipation. With someone who believes me at my side, this could be my chance to finally defeat Zim for good!</p><p> Suddenly, a stranger treads towards me. He's a chubby man... child... with greasy blond hair and dark circles under his eyes. Despite having never seen Agent Wendigo's face, I recognize him imediatly. After all, he is the only basement dweller in the park.</p><p>"Hey, cool trench coat, dude. Are you Agent Mothman? I would recognize that scythe hair anywhere." </p><p>"Agent Wendigo! Again, thank you so much for being willing to help me- I-"</p><p>"Woah, hold on. I SEE HIM!"</p><p>"Zim?" I turn, only to see my greatest rival wearing a mountain of pigeons on his head. "IT IS HIM! WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING FAST! WHO KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING WITH ALL THOSE PIGEONS!" I study the stores around me, looking for an answer. There's a Home Supplies store. Of course! They have bird repellent there!</p><p>"Come on, Agent Wendigo! I know how to stop him!"</p><p>///////////////////////////////////////////</p><p>[Back to the present, (Y/N)'s POV]</p><p>"OI!" You shout, stopping Dib and Tep in their tracks. Tep has Zim in a headlock while Dib is holding the bird repellent. Even now that the spraying has stopped, ths pigeons don't seem to be returning. This is concerning...!</p><p>"I HAVE A DANGEROUS ALIEN WEAPON AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!" You bluff.</p><p>"That says 'Sleep-o-matic' on the side." Dib points out.</p><p>"Hey! Who said you could touch my stuff!?" Zim yells.</p><p>"Yeah, well, that's cause it'll- uh... You know what, screw it." You aim the gun at Tep (you wouldn't use a sketchy alien device on a child.) To your surprise, even from this far, it still works. He looks sick to his stomach, and then falls fast asleep, letting Zim free. Zim scurries to kick Dib in the shin, takes his repellent, then comes up to you.</p><p>"Gimme that." Zim snatches his gun out of your hands and aims it at Dib, making him pass out. He then starts to drag him, and turns to you. "YOU! You used MY technology WITHOUT MY PERMISSION...!"</p><p>"I'm sorry..."  Fuck... What if he doesn't let you help him now?</p><p>His face softens, "Well... you did still save the plan- and me -so thank you. You're a reliable side kick."</p><p>You've risen to side kick status? So that means he won't get rid of you, after all. You breath a sigh of relief.</p><p>Zim continues, "In the future, if you're going to be using Irken technology, I should probably train you first."</p><p>"You're going to train me!?" Your eyes light up. "Well then, that means I'm one step closer to becoming an Irken Invader!"</p><p>"Don't get ahead of yourself, <em>hu-man</em>." He asserts, but you can't help your excitement. This... this is the happiest you've been in years, isn't it? These past few days, you've finally had <em>fun</em>, for once.</p><p>"Come on, let's go back. We should have plenty of pigeons by now, righ...?" You stop, noticing the pigeons on his head are all gone. "Oh."</p><p>Zim pats his head, feeling an empty space. "That... DIB! I will get my REVENGE!"</p><p>You roll your eyes and laugh. "We still have some pigeons at home, so it's not a total loss."</p><p>"Yes, yes. I wouldn't want all of your work to go to waste. So I will bring Dib-monkey and the Tep-human back to my base, and torture him with the pigeons! I'M BRILLIANT! Can you drag Tep into the Voot Runner for me?"</p><p>"Er- you could also just hold them prisoner?" While you do want to help him destroy the humans, you hoped that would all be quick and painless. Like blowing up the earth in one go or something. Torture isn't your thing, even if these people are actual threats to the mission.</p><p>"No, I think I''ll just torture them."</p><p>"Ah, but what if they escape? Then they'd be more mad and be even more motivated to stop you." You hope this kind of thinking works on him.</p><p>"So you're saying the only way to stop them is to keep them calm?" He tilts his head, you nod. "Hmm... Good thinking, (Y/N)-human! If I want to destroy the earth without a fight, I must be STEALTHY! OF COURSE!" He starts maniacally laughing in the middle of the park.</p><p>Well, he's not gonna be able to be stealthy at all. But, you still got what you wanted, so you pick up Tep's leg and follow Zim and Minimoose into the ship. The three of you seem to have forgotten that GIR is still in the park chasing birds and picking flowers.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Baby Steps</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Conversation. You think that's a skill that's required during times like this. But its also at times like this that you get the most nervous. It's a battle of who speaks first, and you tend to lose your voice.</p><p>"So, (Y/N)," Zim beats you to the punch, thank god. "Why is it that <em>you</em> hate humans? I know they're HORRIBLE, but you're one of them." He hesitates, then adds, "Well, not saying <em>you're</em> horrible..."</p><p>"That's... I'm not-" Wow, you didn't expect such a... loaded question. "I'm not ready... to talk about it yet..." You manage, you're body starting to tremble. Minimoose plops onto your head and gives you a hug with his little nubs.</p><p>"Oh, um-" Zim seems surprised by your trembling. He doesn't quite know how to react. "Sorry..." He apologizes softly, staring down for a moment.</p><p>The memories are coming up again as your shivering increases. You push them down. Deep down into the back of your mind, and lock them up in a steel box. You build a room around the box, and cause a landslide to bury that room deep underground, never to be found again.</p><p>"I'm okay." You breathe, and the shivering subsides. "Oh, looks like we're at you're base." Good, an escape. You open the door when he lands and drag Tep out. His head accidentally knocks onto the floor. "Ah, shit." Not wanting Tep to wake up, you attempt to pull him onto your shoulders but almost collapse under his weight.</p><p>Zim sighs. "I'll take him, you get the child." He lifts Tep above his head with ease and kick-walks out of the attic. Was he just... kind to you? Voluntarily?</p><p>///////////////////////////////////////////</p><p>Following Zim's lead, you enter the "dungeon", as he calls it, and place Dib into the singular cell. Zim dumps Tep in without care. He then pulls a remote out of his backpack, presses a button, and a purple forcefield is activated in the opening of the cell. A smug grin grows on Zim's face at seeing his enemies finally captured. The moment is silent, so you decide to ask a question that's been plaguing your mind for the past few days.</p><p>"Zim..." You can do it. "I've been wondering, why do you wear that backpack all the time?" You did it, you spoke first!</p><p>"This is no mere <em>backpack</em>." He turns, theatrically offended. "This is highly advanced Irken Technology, called a PAK. Not only does it contain a wide variety of tools, but it also contains my personality and all of the energy I need to survive for HUNDREDS of years. In short, it <em>is</em> me."</p><p>"...Woah." You're dumbfounded. "That's..."</p><p>"I KNOW my species is incredible, no need to praise me." Zim proudly waves a hand to stop you from speaking. "Well, I guess I can't stop you if you WISH TO, of course."</p><p>He's practically begging for positive feedback.</p><p>"Eh, it's okay." You tease.</p><p>"Just OKAY?! You DARE use such words to describe Irken-"</p><p>"I'm just messing with you!" You laugh. "I'm actually very impressed. Humans could never make something like that."</p><p>"As you should be." He states matter-of-factly, but you can tell you made him happy.</p><p>You glance at your phone. It's 7pm. You should really head home...</p><p>"I've gotta go back Zim. Feed them when they wake up, 'kay?"</p><p>"They're going to die anyway. Must I really feed the worms?" He complains.</p><p>"I agree that they're worms... but starvation is a form of torture." Okay, maybe it would be a little funny if it was just Tep for revenge sake... But you also don't want <em>them</em> to hurt <em>you</em> if they happen to escape. Wow, you're a bad person, huh?</p><p>Zim glances at the two in the cell and grimaces. "You feed them."</p><p>"Fine, um, I'll come by tomorrow morning with something, if I can." If you can afford it. "Also, let's <em>actually</em> go to work this time. I don't wanna get fired."</p><p>"You make a lot of demands, for a side-kick."</p><p>"Sorr-" You're confidence falls.</p><p>"But, I do owe you..." He groans. "<em>Alright</em>, I'll go back."</p><p>"Oh, good!" That was surprising. "Now, can you show me how to get out of here?"</p><p>He shows you to the door, and you set off back home.</p><p>///////////////////////////////////////////</p><p>There are times when you can appreciate not being able to afford a car. Walking is nice, just not at 7pm when the sun is starting to set. There have been some very close calls with dangerous people that you would rather not get into... Fortunately for you, tonight was not one of those nights. The apartment complex you live in comes into view, and you jog a little to hurry in.</p><p><em>Sweaty Pits</em>, it's called. The name doesn't even do justice to how revolting the place is. The building is moldy, dirty, and filled with rats. There are a lot of strange people who live here too, like that one guy "Chicken Foot". Almost everyone, even him, were convinced that he was actually a chicken fuzed with a man, it was all over TV! Despite your hatred for the place, you trudge onwards through the disgusting green halls to find your door.</p><p>"I'm home, Silky!" You greet your little black and white cat. She's a semi-feral cat that you adopted about a year ago. She's become incredibly fond of you by now, but still doesn't trust most people. Just like you, you suppose.</p><p>"Purrow?" She sticks her head out from the corner of the hallway. You smile and give her some pets as she rubs herself against your shins. You then make your way to the kitchen, so she trots along by your side, waiting for her meal.</p><p>After you've fed her, you make yourself something with the little food you have. Canned peas and rice. You tell yourself every day that this is the last time, but it never is. If you could afford better food, meals would be much more pleasant. But... what place better than T.R.M. would even want to hire you? After all, you're just a burden. And worthless... And...</p><p>A tear drips onto the table, its only at the sight of it that you realize you're crying. You push aside your meal, leave the kitchen, and slump into the torn-up old couch, muting your sobs with a pillow. You feel Silky jump up to and curl up next to you. When you meet her gaze, she slow blinks, bringing a small smile to your face.</p><p>"T-thank you, Silky. *hic*" She always manages to make you feel a little better, just by being there.</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Tep the Manchild</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[Morning in the cell]</p><p>"Urgh... my spine..." Tep slowly sits up from his uncomfortable sleeping position while rubbing his back. He groggily opens his eyes to look around. Realizing he isn't home, he suddenly shouts, "What!? Where am I!?" The last thing he remembers is being knocked out by... Oh god.</p><p>He looks to Dib, still asleep, and frantically shakes him awake.</p><p>"Dude! They got us!"</p><p>"Uugh, what? HOLY COW! They did get us!" Dib's eyes go wide as he jumps up. "Wait, well be fine. We can just convince that little robot to let us out." He relaxes.</p><p>"It'd be that easy?"</p><p>"Totally, he never knows what's going on." Dib sounds completely sure of himself.</p><p>"Alright, well I guess we just wait..."</p><p>[5 minutes later, Dib's POV]</p><p>"...and I can't believe (Y/N) is hanging out with that STUPID ALIEN GUY!! She's always seemed so pure... so innocent! So quiet and adorable! WhYyYyYyyy!" Tep sobs, hugging his knees.</p><p>A loud bang sounds from above.</p><p>"BE QUIET! That is an order from ZIIM!"</p><p>"YOU DON'T DESERVE HERRR!!" Tep shouts at the ceiling.</p><p>"For once, I agree with Zim." I glare at Tep, plugging my ears. "Would you PLEASE SHUT UP!? Why did I team up with you? I can't believe I'm stuck listening to some creepy psycho..."</p><p>"I'm... I'm creepy?" Tep looks like he's gonna cry again, oh no.</p><p>"Not creepy! Not creepy!" I wave my arms to calm him down. Jeez, I can't take any more of this guy! Wait... If I find him so annoying, maybe I can use him to annoy (Y/N) into ditching the plan!</p><p>"You're not creepy at all. I'm SO sorry for saying that! You know, (Y/N) is <em>definitely</em> trying to make you jealous. I bet she's waiting for you to ask her out!"</p><p>"So that's why she always glares at me. She's a TSUNDERE!" Tep pumps his fist. "A REAL TSUNDERE! YES!"</p><p>I kinda feel bad for (Y/N), but this is what she gets for messing with humanity!</p><p>///////////////////////////////////////////</p><p>[Outside the cell, (Y/N)s POV]</p><p>Before you opened the door, it sounded like Dib and Tep were talking about something, but now that you're in the prison room, they've gone silent and are just... staring at you. Whatever. You walk up to hand them the cup noodles you prepared this morning.</p><p>"...Here ya go." You mumble.</p><p>Zim showed you earlier that the barrier only blocks things from the inside, which still fascinates you as you watch the noodles slide through.</p><p>"How do you do, m'lady." Tep bows to you. "Would you kindly let me out? I would like do invite you on a date. I can treat you way better than that <em>dumbass</em> alien..." He mumbles that last part. "We can observe japanese animation in my place of residence. There is a new series about a guy who gets stuck in a video game world, and-"</p><p>"Ew. No." You pour the second cup of noodles on his head. "Are you dense or something? You RUINED the plan, I hate you. And before now I only ever tolerated you. Also, Zim and I? Together? No way, nooo."</p><p>"You WHORE! I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU! I just felt bad for you, <em>dumb bitch</em>. You're the kind of girl who doesn't realize when she's in front if a TRUE GENTLEMEN!"</p><p>Dib grins with satisfaction. What's his deal?</p><p>"Mkay, sure buddy." You leave and close the door. "Creep."</p><p>Zim stomps toward you as you exit, looking disheveled.</p><p>"Why must he be SO LOUD! HIS VOICE IS GRATING MY EARS LIKE... A GRATER-THINGY!"</p><p>"A cheese-grater, you mean? And yeah, that's just Tep being a man-child."</p><p>"And <em>who</em> decided to keep them alive again? Oh yeah, you."</p><p>"Stealth, remember?"</p><p>"Yes, yes, I remember..." Zim grumbles.</p><p>"Good, now let's get to work. I'll just tell anyone who asks where Tep is that he has... I don't know, Cirrhosis or something."</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. New Feelings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>GIR ended up coming home this morning with sticks and leaves stuck through his dog costume saying "I had an adventure!" You would be concerned for him, but this seems like it might be a normal occurrence. So you left with Zim to work, where you're now greeting a customer with the same line you said to Zim when you first met him.</p><p>"Welcome to The Reaper's Mattress. Where you'll be so comfy, you'll never wake up."</p><p>"Wow! Such a great slogan!" He compliments.</p><p>Not really, but alright.</p><p>He searches around and pats the mattresses, measuring their firmness, and seems especially interested in a brand called Fall Asleep™. He lays onto the bed, sinking to the floor immediately.</p><p>"I'll buy it!" He shouts, overly cheery.</p><p>"Oh, uh, great!" Zim puts away the headset he was preparing to sneak up and use on the customer.</p><p>You sell him the mattress, and there's not many more people who come in after him. </p><p>"You know, I really hate this job..." You mumble with your hands sunken into your face. You and Zim are waiting by the front desk, but he isn't able to put his elbows on the table like you are, for obvious reasons. So he's just leaning against the side.</p><p>"Why don't you just quit?" He responds.</p><p>"And go <em>where</em>? Who would want to hire me? I suck at everything." You laugh at your own self-deprication.</p><p>"That's... what do you call it...? Oh, yes. BOWLSHIT!" Zim jumps onto the table and points at your face. "You are the <em>best assistant</em> I've ever had, AND TO BE PRAISED BY <em>ME</em> means you are one of the most <em>WORTHY CANDIDATES IN THE WORLD</em>! Second only to ZIM, of course."</p><p>"Wow... thank you." You're in awe at this new side of him, and start to tear up at being shown kindness by someone. "That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me... I didn't think you were even capable of that!"</p><p>His face softens. "Well, despite being a human, you've proven to be incredibly useful. Not only that, but your presence has grown on me, too." He smiles a little as well, it's adorable! Your heart starts to race. Strange, that's not the appropriate response to this situation, is it?</p><p>"Uhh, what's going on with your eye-dots?" Zim gets up in your face, staring into your eyes strangely. You look away and back up a bit, embarrassed, but you don't exactly hate him being that close.</p><p>"Eye... dots?" You ask, returning your gaze.</p><p>"The black circles in the center of your eye. They're very... wide. Is this some sort of human response to praise?"</p><p>

"Uh, no? I don't think so... Hold on." You head off to the bathroom with curiosity and check the mirror. Your pupils only remain wide for a moment before constricting again, so you leave the bathroom assuming it was just the light.

</p><p>"It's nothing," You inform Zim, "that's just what light does to a human's eye. When it's bright, it gets smaller, and when it's dark, it gets bigger."</p><p>"But it's bright out here and it's happening again. Hmm, are you... defective?"</p><p>He's right, it is bright. It was also bright in the bathroom, too, and only then did your pupils do the right thing. Concerned, you pull out your phone and look up "Causes for dilated pupils".</p><p>Let's see... Drugs? No, you've never used those. Brain injury? You doubt it. Attraction? Ah... Um...</p><p>You glance at Zim, and your face goes red. Is that really what this is? A crush? No, no way... Is it? You're 21 and you've never even liked anyone before, so what do you do if it is? What would he think of this? Can Irkens even feel love-</p><p>"The rest of your face is being strange too..." Zim interrupts your overthinking, "Could it be... A FEVER!? I knew it! There IS something wrong with you! STAY BACK WITH YOUR HUMAN <em>DISEASE</em>!" He scampers like a rabbit to the other side of the store.</p><p>Okay, well, you take back what you said before. He's <em>both</em> crazy <em>and</em> an alien. But somehow... you think you like that crazy alien.&lt;

</p><p>Deciding to follow Zim, you attempt to calm him down, "Zim, I'm not exactly sick, it's-" Unfortunately, your words get cut off since the Turtle-man tucks and rolls underneath a bed. It's frustrating how stubborn he can be, "It's just something that happens to humans sometimes." You bend over so that you're at eye level with one another. The look in his eyes is new to you, you've never seen him so scared before.</p><p>His panicked expression fades while he looks over you one last time, and hesitantly crawls out of his bunker.

"I guess there must be a lot I still don't know about you humans. What <em>is</em> this thing I'm missing?"</p><p>"Well..." Oh no, think of something! "It happens... When we're dehydrated! Yes. So I'm gonna head over to the water fountain!" You quickly repell away from him whilst cringing at yourself. How could you let it get to this?</p><p>Rather than the water fountain, you instead stop at the bathroom to take a quick break. You splash your face with cold water from the sink and feel the tight sensation jolting you back to your senses. How do you deal with this? You're so inexperienced that you're acting like a teenager! Zim doesn't even have a reason to feel the same way, so you're just setting yourself up to get hurt. Stop acting all nervous. You feel nothing for him.</p><p>Marching back to the front desk, you continue to repeat this last phrase in your head. Zim looks mildly concerned once you return.</p><p>"Are you alright now...?"</p><p>"Oh, yeah. I won't be dying anytime soon, heh." You chuckle. He looks relieved, it'd probably suck to lose an assistant, "...I'm gonna apply to those jobs now."</p><p>The rest of the evening remained uneventful, but, you applied to every job opening you saw online, so you'll call it a good day. And it's all thanks to Zim... Your heart starts pumping faster again, you force the feelings away. Stupid heart...! You approach your apartment door once again, and go through your normal nightly routine while definitely not thinking about him.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. The Beginnings of Corruption</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The following morning, you sleepily knock on the little alien's door to start your next routine. The smile showing its way through your uncaring act disappears once he opens the door shouting at the top of his lungs.</p><p>"FINALLY, YOU HAVE ARRIVED! NOW YOU CAN HEAR THE DETAILS OF THE ALMIGHTY ZIM'S <em>GENIUS</em> NEW PLAAAN!"</p><p>"Zim, it's too early for this-" You mumble tiredly. He shoves you into his house and continues to ramble.</p><p>"What you said about wanting to quit your pathetic job got me thinking. Aren't all earthlings miserable? Don't they <em>all</em> wish their lives weren't so hard? I've decided to exploit this by creating..." He pauses for dramatic affect, "A television show." Zim waits for your amazement, but hears none. "I can see I've left you speechless with my <em>incredible genius</em>. And I think there's something that'll make you even FURTHER SILENT WITH... SPEECHLESSNESS! You will be the main character."</p><p>"HELL. NO. I will not go on TV and face the horrible embarrassment-"

</p><p>"You'll be paid." He says smugly, knowing damn well that's the key to get you to agree.</p><p>"...I'm in. What's this thing about?"</p><p>"It will be called 'My 23 Reasons'. I won't spoil it yet, but in response to the growing rates of depression, I have created a plot that will drive EVERYONE ON EARTH to suicide. They'll be doing the all destroying for me! Nyhehehehe! Ahahahahaha!"</p><p>You perk up. Physical <em>and<em> emotional payback? This sounds nice. </em></em></p><p>
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</p><p>"Yo, I'm back with food..." You mumble, entering the prison room. You're not excited to see these two again.</p><p>"Do it." Dib whispers, nudging Tep forward. Tep breaths in confidently, as if just given a pep-talk.</p><p>"Please forgive me for my behavior last time... I just..." He already starts to lose his composure, "Why won't girls settle for lonely guys like me? It isn't fair!" Tep whines.</p><p>"Stop..."</p><p>"I can be a CHAD! IF YOU WOULD JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE YOU WOULD SEE HOW COOL I AM, YOU BITCH!"</p><p>"Oh my god! Would you shut up? Take your damn noodles, this is the last time I'll be feeding you." You throw the noodles onto his head. "I can't believe I made myself deal with your crap." Dib's eyes go wide with excitement, "Maybe I will just kill you." His expression turns to one of horror.</p><p>"TEP! YOU WENT TOO FAR!" Dib frustratedly attempts to shove Tep, falling backwards as a result.</p><p>"...Did, did you both <em>plan</em> this?" You glare. "You made him harass me?"</p><p>Dib gulps while Tep drags his feet to sulk in the back.</p><p>"(Y/N)... You've changed." He whimpers.</p><p>You roll your eyes, prepare to respond, and then... Zim slams the door open behind you.</p><p>"(Y/N)! Oh, eugh- it's the worms. Let's go, we're leaving to pitch the show."</p><p>Already? Those two are lucky you have to leave.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Opening Up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry about the month long hiatus. So much happened, and it was super stressful, but it's over now and I'm back to updating!</p><p>Trigger warning: Discussion of abuse and suicide</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[Dib's POV]</p><p>"Oh thank God..." I heave a sigh of relief. That crazy woman is gone! But I'm still stuck with this guy... "You know what, Tep? I'm done trying to protect your feelings. You are creepy, <em>very</em> creepy. I told you all of that to get you to scare (Y/N) out of working with Zim, cause I thought you would drive her away, but you're so bad that you ALMOST GOT US KILLED!"</p><p>"I... I'm sorry..." The man child sobs in the corner. I ignore him.</p><p>"I'm done working with you. Once we get out of here, I hope I never see you again..." If... We get out of here... We've been here too long. My family is probably worried sick, and I'm tired of eating this ramen. It's time for plan B. I look to the ceiling and shout as loud as I can: "GIIIIRRRRR! COME HERE!"</p><p>The grey robot crashes through the door.</p><p>"It's the big-headed boy and the greasy boy!" GIR greets.</p><p>"Of course..." I'm used to being called big-headed by now. "Hey, do you know how to get us out of here? Is there maybe a key or a remote?"</p><p>"Ohhh, is THAT what this is?" GIR opens his head to take out a remote.</p><p>"Yes! Can you press it?"</p><p>"Uuuhm... Only if you do a little dance!"</p><p>"No way."</p><p>"Do a little daaance!" GIR persists, spinning around gleefully.</p><p>I guess I have to... I kick my legs out unenthusiastically until the robot is satisfied. GIR wildly laughs and opens the cell.</p><p>"I'm FREE! Oh..." I jump out as fast as I can and am quickly hit with a head rush. It must be from only having two meals in the past two days. "And.. I'm alone in Zim's base..." I finish my sentence tiredly and sigh, "Jeez, I need something to eat... And I'm so thirsty..."</p><p>"Want some waaaffles?" GIR sings.</p><p>"Yeah, I'd appreciate that, actually."</p><p>///////////////////////////////////////////</p><p>[Time skip, (Y/N)s POV]</p><p>"Wow, I can't believe they green-lit your show that fast! It's almost as if we're in some sort of fanfiction." You and Zim are walking back together after the pitch.</p><p>"Nonsense, (Y/N)-human! I'm just that great! My idea appeals to ALL the impressionable worms." He grins.</p><p>"I'll admit, yeah." You nod. "So do you have a script yet?"</p><p>"I'll tell my computer to write one." He waves it off. "We'll just need some of your memories for it to work off of."</p><p>Your feet freeze. He stops in response, and cocks his head at you.</p><p>"Why- why can't it just work off the internet?" Your voice is an octave higher.</p><p>"Since you inspired the show, I want the main character to act like you. Wow, if only I could be in your place right now. You must feel so honored that the <em>amazing Zim</em> thought your personality would fit." He gazes wistfully into the horizon. "Ah, but then I wouldn't get to be me, and what a shame that would be."</p><p>
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</p><p>Whatever he said, you're not paying attention to. You're more focused on the fear of reliving your past, intense anxiety flooding your nervous system.</p><p>
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</p><p>"(Y/N)...?"</p><p>
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</p><p>You're still frozen and speechless. He looks concerned at this point. Okay... calm down. Think logically. Are you still in the system? No. Is Zim a threat? No. Not without you he's not.</p><p>
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</p><p>This sudden confident thought surprises you, making you smile to yourself. You trust Zim, and a part of you does want to be able to be honest with him. Maybe you won't have a panic attack? Maybe talking will actually help like all those websites say?</p><p>
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</p><p>"Sorry about that... Zim, there's a place I want to show you. Come with me." You start to walk in a direction you know very well. Zim follows out of curiosity.</p><p>
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</p><p>"A lake?" He seems only slightly on edge, despite all the water.</p><p>
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</p><p>"Not the lake itself, but this little rocky beach we're on, well, this is my happy place. Nobody ever comes here, cause they all like flat ones." You sit on a rock, and pat the one one beside you for him to join. He sits next to you, not knowing what to expect.</p><p>
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</p><p>"Happy place, eh? My happy place is a lot more interesting than this. I crush tiny planets." He sounds proud of himself.</p><p>
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</p><p>"Look, I came here so it's easier to do this, but, I want to tell you about my past, not have it revealed to you on a screen. And Zim style, I'm just gonna jump into this vent without permission." You chuckle weakly at your joke despite it not being a good time for one.</p><p>
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</p><p>Surprisingly, he doesn't seem against it, as his expression turns serious. You inhale a deep breath and stare out into the vast blue water. It's finally time to open up. You speak, softly and slowly.</p><p>
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</p><p>"...I was abandoned as a baby... I don't know why, but my- my parents just left me there- on the side of the fucking road...!" That part always gets you the most angry when you think about it, but you relax yourself again, "Someone found me pretty fast, and I ended up in the foster system where I went through- through multiple abusive homes... I- I never got adopted either... I just... It was all so hard, I just wish I had someone who cared about me." Tears are dripping onto your legs, "But I've never had any friends. In school I wasn't even bullied, just ignored. How pathetic is that, right? Nobody ever wanted to talk to me. I was weird, the freak. With all my bruises and scars, they probably all knew what was going on. Maybe that's why. I'm not sure. But I hated them back, anyway..."</p><p>
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</p><p>The alien is speechless for once. You can guess he can't relate to you, but the emotion in your voice is enough for him to get it. Kind of.</p><p>
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</p><p>"I failed at trying to hang myself back then, and ended up with this scar." Since you're less emotional by this point, you show him your neck. "And it's because of allll that bullshit that I'm where I am today. Traumatized, socially anxious, and mostly useless."</p><p>
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</p><p>He stares at you, expression mixed with sympathy, confusion and a little bit of anger. He must have had a completely different kind of upbringing from humans. He might not even have had any parents. He awkwardly pats your back and returns his hand to his side. Despite how brief the contact, it made you realize just how touch starved you are.</p><p>
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</p><p>The energy between you two feels strange now. You hope you didn't make him think less of you.</p><p>
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</p><p>"It's alright now. I mean, I'm not still going through that stuff. It's over. So let's go destroy the earth so I can get back at them!" You attempt a save. Zim smiles and stands up.</p><p>
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</p><p>"They're gonna be destroyed, alright. Now I have <em>two<em> reasons." He quietly maniacally laughs. "Come, (Y/N). We must return to the base to begin phase 1 of the plan."</em></em></p><p>
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</p><p>Your can't hold back your blushing smile. He <em>cares</em> about you.  Maybe you do have a little chance with him. Is that crazy to let yourself think?</p><p>
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